[00:00:02] Speaker A: Ready to lose 40 plus pounds without giving up happy hours, weekend brunches or date nights. Then it's time to uncover the hidden link between binge eating and toxic relationships. And finally break free from both. Welcome to the Hungry for Love podcast with Jillian Scott. Y' all ready? Let's go.
[00:00:24] Speaker B: Hey. Hey. Welcome back.
All right, so I wanted to record this bonus episode and this is something that I'll start to do a little bit more of as I feel inspired and have different ideas and things. I've been sharing more on social media and I also want to pop on here and record some bonus episodes. And these might be five minutes, might be 15, I don't know. But I just wanted to share and give you some different ideas and new ways of thinking of things. And one of the things that I talk about often is letting weight loss be easy and finding ways to make weight loss easy. How to make it easy, why it's actually easier than we think, how we tend to complicate it. We make it harder, we make it more difficult. And that is a self fulfilling prophecy most often.
And I also want to just acknowledge and allow you to lean into when it feels hard and allowing it to be hard. I went to yoga this evening and this is something my yoga instructor says often is let it be hard, let it be a challenge, let it feel difficult, and you don't give up, you don't quit. And one of the things that I will say frequently in a body pump class, for example, is that we can't change our body without challenging our body. If you want to change it, you've got to challenge it. So that means when it comes to body pump, we have to change our weight a little bit. Our weight selection, the choreography changes with different tracks and different releases, but you can keep playing at this lower level with your weight. But if you want to change your body, we often have to go up in weight, even if it's only half the track. And I will tell people that, like if we are doing bicep curls, for example, if we're doing a bicep track and we are going to use the bar and plates, I'll tell them, pick one to go heavier on. You don't have to go heavy, the whole track, but pick one, let it be a little hard, fight for it, go all in on it, and to say, I'm not quitting, I'm not giving up, and yes, this is hard and let's fucking go.
And so sometimes this comes up with weight loss of really leaning into this feels hard. Right now. And that's okay. And the reason it typically feels hard is not because of what I'm asking you to do. And I'm going to do some more podcast episodes. Whether it's bonus or regular content, I don't know. But I'm going to talk more about self sabotage. What we think is required because I think a lot of us have this bad diet PTSD where we think we have to be hungry all the time. We think we have to spend days and days being hangry and we think we have to experience this like huge amount of discomfort. And really we don't. It's actually not that bad.
But we do need to experience some quote, discomfort. In terms of what does real hunger feel like? Can I allow myself to be a little bit hungry? Am I just eating preemptively because I'm afraid of being hungry?
These are great questions to start asking yourself. So we think it's hard with what we have to give up, what we have to do. We have to start watching what we eat, we have to start cutting things out. And it is way easier when it comes down to the tactics of it. It is way easier.
The hard part is not eating just because you want to.
The hard part is tuning into the emotions and what you're thinking and what you're telling yourself and what you really want, what you're really craving, what you really desire instead of just reaching for the food.
The hard part is not necessarily saying no, but it feels hard in the moment when we are so emotionally dependent on that thing.
There does have to be this permission of at times it's going to feel hard. And that's okay.
This is why you hire a coach. This is why you have somebody to help you. Not only to make it easier, to make it easier when it comes to what you're doing, to make it easier when it comes to how you're thinking about it. But who can encourage you and tell you you can do hard things? I know this feels really hard right now. And you can do hard things. This is not a problem.
And really what often feels hard are the emotions that come up that we often have to allow and process, sit with.
It's new thoughts that we have to believe or get to believe. Right? It's being open and willing to believe new things that may not feel true, that might feel the complete opposite of what we've told ourselves for so long. And it's believing something new, believing something and telling something new. Even when you have evidence to the contrary, because you are focused and you are putting your mind onto the optimal angle. There we go.
I'm gonna do another bonus podcast on that, I think, and I don't know, maybe that just fits in here of we want to be searching for the optimal angle. How can we look at our data, how can we look at our past and not use it against ourselves, but use it to prove how we can do things moving forward and we can do new things moving forward? Well, if I did that, I can for sure do something else. And one of the things I heard my coach say once before was like, if I've done it once, it's a thing, it's a thing, I can do it again.
And it's really. It's looking for all the ways in which you can instead of looking for all the ways in which you can't. And this was something I noticed this spring come up for me of, wow. I am spending so much time arguing for my own limitations, for how I can't do things or things can't happen for me the way that I want them to or I think they should. And that is really just. It's like self sabotage. And there'll be more content and more conversation around this concept of being willing to let it be hard.
One of the things that we have to do when things feel hard is we also have to recognize when we are managing our brain and we're directing our brain and we're saying, yes, this feels hard because it feels new. Yes, it feels hard because it feels different. Yes, this feels hard because it's challenging these different views and beliefs versus when we are letting our brain run amok and run around like this wild banshee toddler that's not potty trained without a diaper, running around with like sticks and pots and pans and stuff, right? If you imagine you can let your brain run, run amok and run wild, and that will make things hard, that will make things difficult. That's not the hard I'm talking about. That's not the hard that we want to create.
We want to make it intentional. We want to lean into what might feel hard just because it feels new, because it challenges old patterns, old beliefs, old things that we have told ourselves about ourselves.
And typically, what feels hard is often allowing ourselves to feel different emotions.
And the thing with allowing it to be hard and allowing it to take as long as it needs to is we end up speeding up the process.
We end up moving through it much faster and much easier.
And when I talk with clients too often, like, I will tell them and I guarantee I've said this on the podcast before, of the hard is not what I'm asking you to do in the gym. It's not the food. I'm asking you to cut out or restrict because that's not how we work, that's not how we roll around here. I'm not asking you to cut out any food. What feels hard is when you start to feel this cognitive dissonance around. I have this desire for the food. I have this craving, I have this wanting, this longing to give myself something that I want.
And I also have this other part of me that doesn't want to.
This other part of me that knows I need to feel the emotion and part of me that doesn't want to feel it. The part of me that feels afraid, that feels scared, that feels. I don't even know what that looks like, that feels so uncomfortable.
And so this is when it is so helpful to have a coach, to have somebody walking you through step by step.
But this is where we lean into the hard and we let it be hard and we challenge ourselves and we see what we're capable of. Because when we allow it and we make peace with it, we're not fighting it, we're not resisting it. We move through so much faster.
It actually stops being hard faster because we have allowed it to take as long as it needs to.
And I remember telling the story before about breaking up with the first boyfriend I had after the divorce. And there was one point in that weekend. I think we broke up on a Friday night and I think it was Saturday.
My son was crying on the bathroom floor. I don't know what happened, but he ended up crying and I ended up on the floor crying next to him. It was just a very emotional weekend.
And I was like, oh my gosh, this just feels like so much, it feels so weighty. But part of what felt so bad was not just the breakup and losing him. It was at the time, what I couldn't see was like losing him. Meeting my emotional needs was part of why it felt so painful. And then it was the shame and the regret and the self loathing of, I ruined this, I've pushed away, or I've ruined the best thing that could have happened to me. Like the best guy on the planet that was left, the one lone ranger who was left, and now I've ruined that. And there came a point two weeks in, two weeks after the breakup where I decided, I'm crying into the charcuterie board on the way to a holiday party and I decide, okay, I can miss him, I can be sad, but I am no longer gonna beat myself up. There came a point where I was like, this is creating unnecessary suffering. Unnecessary, hard, unnecessary PA pain.
And I'm not doing that anymore.
And you will get to that point too. You will also decide when you will learn to allow the emotions and you let them flow through you. You learn to be able to get to a point where it's okay now, it's clean pain. It's not the dirty pain where I mix in my shame and regret and self loathing and all the shitty thoughts that came along with it and how I screwed things up.
But really just notice, like, the pain of this feels hard. This is gut wrenching right now. And that's okay. I can be here for it. And I don't need it to move. I don't need it to move any faster than it's moving right now.
Because part of it was also processing, most likely grief with a divorce, was processing grief of him, of that boyfriend. And more importantly than that, it was processing the grief over losing somebody who was meeting my emotional needs, which is what I really couldn't see at the time. Maybe I had a hand, like I might have had a small handle on that, but like, I see it in such a bigger way now that it's been like a year and a half since then.
But the principle still remains of I can feel anything as long as it takes and I will survive.
I can do hard things.
And so this is my encouragement to you of maybe things feel a little hard and we just want to question, are we making it extra hard on ourselves?
Is there unnecessary hard that's coming into play?
Or is it the general hard of I'm doing something new, I'm doing something different, I'm challenging old belief patterns, I'm learning to trust myself, which feels really scary, right? That can also feel hard.
It feels hard to believe in ourselves.
And are you willing to do that? Hard. Are you willing to do the hard of believing something new and believing something better about yourself?
And if you're not, that's okay. But you need to put this desire to end, to lose weight or end emotional eating, put it to the side.
You need to get to a place where you are willing to believe in yourself and willing to believe new things. Not that it has to come instantly, but if you are not willing to do, that's okay.
But that becomes your first step.
And don't beat yourself up for not creating results, not following through, not taking the action, not building the habits that belief has to be there. And it's just a willingness, like a willingness to feel is just as important as a willingness to believe.
And you have to learn how to believe in yourself.
You can borrow my belief for a little bit of time and I can teach you how to believe in yourself, but you ultimately have to take over, you have to take the reins. I can't be the one who's and the only one who's believing in you.
I'll teach you how to do this. I'll teach you how to level up your self concept and how to think better and believe better, to trust yourself, to use evidence for you instead of against you.
This is what I do as a coach.
So if this is something that you want help with, I would love to chat more and talk about how I can help you not just lose weight, but end emotional eating, end bad diet, PTSD and diet trauma, end from relationship trauma and like truly heal.
And if you give me six to 12 months, right, give me at least 12, give me at least six months and I will radically transform your life. I will blow your mind in all the best ways.
And so what this entails is we work together in private coaching. It's similar to therapy in the sense that we meet together weekly. We have one on one coaching calls. There's coach, there's content that is, that's given to you ahead of time.
And then on these calls, my intention with these is it's now about implementation of how do you apply this to your life?
Where are you getting stuck? How do we make it easier? How do we make it smoother? How do we evaluate helping you to learn from any mistakes, any missteps, anything, any time where you don't meet your own expectations and helping you to follow through and build that consistency and really build that better self talk.
And when we work together for six months, that becomes more natural.
And we're going to work on the emotional eating, we're going to work on healing the trauma.
I'm going to help you to show up better and more consistently for yourself, for your goals.
And as a bonus, you also have access to me through Voxer, which is a voice messaging app where you can message me anytime, day or night and I will respond within 24 hours. Typically it's going to be same day, but I will reply and help give you answer questions. I'll coach you, I'll help ask you some different questions to get you thinking and looking at it differently. But it's like your own mini podcast, right? I want you to imagine having a little podcast just for yourself. That's what it's like to coach and to work with me and to be able to use this voxer app because you just get voice messages that you can save and hold on to and you can go back to and listen to as needed.
And this is how we change the game. Because this is not just about the weight. It's not just about the body. It's not just about finding a new partner or a new spouse.
It's about transforming and up leveling your entire life to really radically change you from the inside out, to change your self concept, how you see yourself as not just somebody who can lose the weight, but who can also maintain it.
And knowing that this is likely the first time you've ever done it this way.
And we're going to make some powerful shifts and powerful changes.
It's not going to be hard in terms of what you're giving up. It's going to be hard in terms of what I'm going to ask you to feel and what your willingness and your capacity to feel is. And the more you increase your capacity to feel and to feel any emotion as long as it takes, I guarantee the less you need food, the less you need alcohol, the less you need somebody else in your life meeting those needs for you.
I've got a process. I walk everyone through it. It's a lot simpler than you realize. Like, this has come out of years of my own growth and personal work and I've simplified it into a process that's going to work for you.
And sometimes it's going to feel hard and that's okay.
Most of the time it's going to feel easy and doable.
But on those times when it feels hard, we're going to lean in and we're going to fight for it. And you're going to have me by your side every step of the way, helping you to unload any extra suffering, any extra pain, any extra hard.
So that way it is just the real hard that you need to go through and experience.
And I promise it's going to blow your mind.
If you're ready to lose the physical weight as well as the mental and emotional weight that comes from this diet roller coaster and diet trauma and relationship trauma and narcissistic abuse.
I'm the perfect coach for you.
The next best step is to schedule a free consultation.
You can grab your
[email protected] schedule and I'll drop the link in the description as well.
All right, y'. All. That's it. That was my core message. Let it be hard. Let it we're just going to release the reins. We're going to surrender and we're going to let it be hard in new ways, in different ways and ways that we've never fully imagined before.
And what if all of the ways that we thought were actually going to be hard is the easy part.
I'll show you how.
Here's to creating the life and body you crave.
[00:17:51] Speaker A: If this episode resonated with you, it's time to break free from destructive cycles around food, alcohol and toxic relationships.
[00:17:58] Speaker B: Your next step?
[00:18:00] Speaker A: Book your free Break the Cycle call where you'll finally see why your binge eating and relationship patterns are so deeply connected and how to break free from both for good.
You'll walk away with fierce clarity and a game plan to step into a life full of fun, adventure and self love. Grab your spot now at www.bodyyoucrave.com VTC.
It's time to break the cycle.
[00:18:27] Speaker B: I'll show you.
