Episode Transcript
[00:00:02] Speaker A: Ready to lose 40 plus pounds without giving up happy hours, weekend brunches, or date nights. Then it's time to uncover the hidden link between binge eating and toxic relationships. And finally break free from both. Welcome to the Hungry for Love podcast with Jillian Scott. Y' all ready? Let's go.
[00:00:24] Speaker B: Hey. Hey. Welcome back.
And you know, I feel like I should be throwing a welcome back party for myself because I have been a little MIA here for a couple of weeks. And the reason why is because there have been some things shifting under the surface, and I've been trying to make sense of it, to flush it out, to figure out what does it mean, what does it imply, what's really happening. And I'm really starting to make sense of it. But I want to take you a little bit behind the scenes and also share what I see with some of these collective shifts and changes in energy and what that might mean for you, how this might apply to your life, and then also share what's. How it's impacted me and what I've been recognizing. Because I think there are a lot of women right now questioning everything.
Right. And I think there's a very good reason for it.
But whether you follow astrology or not, for me, I find it really fascinating when these collective themes mirror the conversations that I'm already having with clients. They mirror the patterns that I'm already seeing with myself and in their lives.
So I got into human design early last year, and that is kind of a mix of like personality meets astrology. And it really helps you to explore more of who you are, some of the shadows and the patterns, the habits that we need to break, as well as the gift and what we can step into, where our strengths lie. What are a bit of like, what if, what is our purpose and our meaning here in life on Earth and really making sense of the gifts that you've been giving and how does that play out. And so it's been really fascinating to see, okay, here are the patterns that I often get stuck in, but here's where I want to lean into and here's how I can use that. Here's how I find the gift in it. Here's how I move into my. My purpose and what I do know.
I have opened myself up to a little bit more of what's happening astrologically. And because I, I've also seen how this does mirror my life and my clients lives. It doesn't mean that like the stars and the planets create my destiny or it's like, well, it says it in the stars. So now this is what I just have to succumb to or it can't. Like, I can't change that. But I see a lot that actually is mirroring what is happening and what I've seen over the last several years. I would say maybe like three or four years in particular, maybe three to five. There is a great awakening. There's an awakening to survival mode and patterns. There's an awakening to abuse and to trauma. There's an awakening that maybe we got things wrong. When I look at the health space and I look at things like peptides or hormones and specifically estrogen replacement therapy in women with the Women's health initiative from 2002 that got grossly misunderstood, misrepresented. And there is a whole decade of women who are basically who have missed their opportunity for hormones and hormone replacement and actually feeling better and feeling more like themselves.
And so there's this awakening to what is actually true about hormones, what is actually true about peptides, what is actually true about your experience, about trauma, about abuse, about emotional and verbal abuse. The abuse that we don't see with physical bruises, but we see it with autoimmune conditions. And we just haven't necessarily tied the two together, right? So there's been this really big collective awakening and also this awakening to. I'm not putting up with the bullshit anymore. Like, I'm not putting up with this. And I don't think it's just that you hit 40 or 50 and you're. You're going through perimenopause and all fucks have left the building. Okay? I see it as kind of this stepping out of, like, into our 30s and 40s. It's more of like letting go of what other people want from you or what they think of you letting go of that and really stepping into what do I want. And what I see is also this self authority is no longer looking to parents or pastors or a spouse or these people in quote, authority, like doctors or influencers online who. Not just looking to them and this one sole person to make decisions for you, but really starting to lead yourself to take that self authority and to figure out, what do I want? What do I believe? What am I here for? And so I see this, like, there's been this shift, right? And I. I think my eyes were really awakened to it. In, let's see, 2022 was really like my big awakening, but there was also a massive awakening in 2024 when I realized, like, oh, shit, I'm.
I can blame my Ex for a lot of things. But I can't blame him for everything. And I can't blame him for the toxic relationships that I continue to get myself into where I see the red flags and I choose not to leave. I can't blame him for this rock bottom moment. And that was really, really important because I blamed him for a lot of things. And there was this awakening after the divorce where I realized maybe it's not all him, right? Like there is some responsibility that he holds, but it's not everything. And I think this is where it's finding this balance between what is mine to truly own and what is somebody else's. And I don't have to make somebody the villain to also decide I don't want to spend my life with them. I don't have to make somebody a horrible person to decide they're not emotionally safe. And I no longer want to put myself in connection with them or I no longer want to want to be tied and connected the way that we were in the past. And this goes with my ex. It also goes with parental figures in my life. So let me just explain kind of what's happening here because there's been this overarching large shift and awakening is what I would see. And I think that's why divorce has really increased over the last five years. I know it's been increasing since the 80s when I see women choosing divorce because a lot of times it is the woman. It's. She's deciding she does not want this for her life anymore. She's deciding to no longer take what she can get and to take the breadcrumbs, but to really say, this is what I want, this is where I'm going. And you no longer get this access to me because this is not healthy. I unsubscribe from this dynamic.
This has only continued to increase not because of COVID not because of lockdowns, but because we are now looking at things eyes wide open.
So let me pull back and talk about what happened this past Sunday, Monday. Because there have been some shifts astrologically that are also shaping what we have access to and the energy that we have access to moving forward.
The north and the south nodes have shifted signs. So nodes are just points in the sky where the eclipses happen. So we're heading into eclipse season. And eclipses open and close chapters, and there's an energy to them. Okay. This doesn't mean that we are confined or restrained or we can't. This doesn't mean that we're powerless or we're helpless. This just means that there's an energy that we have the opportunity to tap into. There's an invitation to lean into it and to recognize, like, where our control and where our fate really lies.
So the North Node is now in Aquarius, and that is all about fate and destiny. What we're being called into next.
What's really fascinating is that on Wednesday, July 29, we also have a new moon in Aquarius. Okay, so there's some fun overlapping things happening.
We also have the South Node that is now in Leo. And so Leo is the things that we're leaving behind.
It's the integration of wisdom and what we've learned that we now get to apply. There's this really unique dance almost. It's kind of like a salsa or like a tango. It's a dance between where we're going, what we're being called into next, and bringing with us the experiences, what we've learned and how that integrates and fully shapes who we are.
And we have both of these. And this is what I found really fascinating because as I've started thinking about how I'm shifting things in my business and what I'm doing and what I love to do, I share more of this concept. It's like we need to remember who we were, who we were before the world told us who to be.
We need to take those parts of us and re remember who she is, like who we are, but also know that we have changed. The trauma, the abuse, the situations, the evolution, things have impacted us. We're not just the same. This isn't just, oh, go back to who you used to be 5, 10, 20 years ago. This is now. Who am I at my core, and how have things changed and impacted me? And we're going to alchemize these together into who I am moving forward and what it is that I want for my life moving forward, taking into account how I've grown, how I've evolved, how I've changed. The nodes here that have just shifted, like, within the last two days, they won't shift again until March of 2028. So that means we have about a year and a half of leaning into this energy and exploring what it means for us, what we're being called into next, this next season of growth and evolution, while integrating what we've experienced, not letting the trauma and abuse define us, not letting it be our identity and our story and being the perpetual victim, but recognizing how it has impacted us and it has changed us for the better, where we can take lemons and turn it into a lemon drop martini. Okay. We can take something that is often seen as hard and challenging and bad and really use it for something productive of, like, now what?
Just because these bad things happen, because bad things happen to everybody, Just because these hard challenges, obstacles have happened, doesn't mean that you have to live by that identity, that you have to live in that survival mode anymore.
You get to springboard and use that to create the future vision that you actually want. And you get to lean into your own authenticity, which is who you really are, and allowing all of the unique quirks and weirdness to come through regardless of what you believe.
Religiously, spiritually. What I see happening is that we are moving from performing and living the life that we were taught to live, that we were trained to live, that we were conditioned to live based on our need to survive. And we now get to move into consciously creating a life that we actually want.
That is very much what I feel called into myself as well as the path that I'm taking clients on.
So Leo is the individual self. Who am I? What do I want? What makes me alive? And Aquarius is asking, what do you want to contribute? What kind of future do you want to create? Who are your people? Who do you want to surround yourself with?
This becomes this process of rediscovering yourself, coming back to yourself in many ways of like, your core, true, authentic self, and then deciding. And now here's what. Here's how I reinvent myself, or I reimagine the future and what I really want without making myself smaller, without prioritizing everybody else's wants and needs above my own. Because you are allowed to want more. You are allowed to want what you want.
You are allowed to want for yourself instead of wanting what other people expect or desire for you. And I found this really fascinating. This was actually one of the key areas of contention that I saw between my ex and I at the core, like, why we got divorced was I wanted him to be somebody that he wasn't, and he wanted me to be somebody that I wasn't. And at the end of the day, we kept wanting the other person to change.
And he hasn't told me this. This is just my inference and what I've deduced based on what he's said and done and what I can recognize. But it was like, I kept telling myself, if he could just change, we could be so happy.
Things would be amazing if he could just change in these areas.
But he didn't want to. He didn't want to be that person. He was very happy being the person that he was or is.
Just like, I think in his mind, whether it was conscious or not, there was this thought of, like, if she could just be this way, if she could just change and do these things and act this way and say this stuff, if she could just do this, we could be so happy. But it wasn't what I wanted for my life. And it was very hard. It was very hard because these were some things that we never discussed early on before we got married. These were things that very much grew and evolved over time. It wasn't that we grew apart. It was that we became more of our authentic, true self. And we realized that these two people were no longer compatible. We were possibly never compatible. What I find interesting is, as I'm recording this episode, I also feel like my throat is closing up. Like I have to clear my throat several times. This is all getting edited out, but this is why I'm telling you is I right now am speaking my truth and what I see as being true and how I'm viewing things, not just the world as a whole, but also my experience.
And there's also some vulnerability in sharing this.
And I notice my throat wanting to close up. But one of my views of leadership is I'm going to go first. I'm going to share my underbelly. I'm going to share and open up and be vulnerable and. Because that's what's required for transformation. And that's what I ask of the people who come to work with me.
And so this is a place to make it safe so that you know that you are not alone, that I am not sitting up on a pedestal or on my high horse saying, this is how you do it right? And how you do it perfectly. Because that's not actually happening.
But let me share a little bit more. I made a couple notes of some things that my ex wanted for me that I didn't want.
I always. I got so frustrated because it was like he wanted things for my life that I didn't want or he wanted me to do things that I didn't want. There was a time when I was brushing one of our dogs, Scarlet, and she sheds a lot. We've got two Shiba inus, and twice a year they have a big blowout where they shed their winter coat or they shed their summer coat. And so there's just a ton of hair everywhere, right? So I have this giant, massive puff of fur coming off of Scarlet. And he was like, you know what you should do? You should save that fur, spin it into yarn, and then knit a sweater, like, straight up. Not joking, y'. All. He is not joking. He is telling me that in my time, when I am a stay at home mom, parenting a young baby, trying to manage the household, while also trying to build a podcast, coming off of maternity leave, basically starting from scratch and regrowing my business, he's also telling me I need to help him plant the garden. But he was telling me, like, oh, yes, you know, like in all your. Your spare time, you should just spin this into thread and then you can knit a sweater and it would be beautiful.
And I think this came from his grandmother, who spent many, many years in Chile, and she did this, apparently, with rabbit fur, and she made these sweaters out of it. I don't know if that's true or what, but I was like, that's amazing. That's incredible. That's not how I want to spend my time. I do not want to do that.
And it became a source of tension, and he would be angry and upset because I didn't want to do what he wanted me to do.
Now, this became a much larger theme throughout life where I think he very much saw himself as the commander in charge, and everyone else in the family was subservient to him. He had to be the commanding officer. And I could be a staff nco. I could have some authority, but I had to fall underneath his. And it was never this teamwork. It was never this partnership. It was always a rank and a hierarchy. And I thought it was something he would grow out of after he left the military, but it's just how he sees the world. There were things that simply cannot coexist. You cannot have one person who wants hierarchy and one person who wants partnership and teamwork and equality. Those two people cannot coexist.
You are allowed to want what you want. You are allowed to want more. You have permission to do this. And I think along the way, I learned to play by survival rules. You know, like, I learned to not ask for too much. I learned to take what I can get. I learned to be grateful for what I had. I. I also learned how to be, quote, a good girl, a compliant wife. A good wife. Because good girls don't disappoint people.
Good girls don't take up space.
They don't take a break when it hasn't been earned. And when their checklist hasn't been fully completed, they don't ask for help.
They don't leave.
Right. Good Girls try harder. They bend and mold and pretzel themselves into who the world wants them to be.
Good girls ask, who do you want me to be? Who do you need me to be? I'll be her instead of who do I want to be?
Good girls don't change careers. They don't bet on themselves, they don't believe in themselves, they don't spend money on themselves.
They don't trust themselves over experts and authority figures. The women that I work with are often asking, who am I now?
What do I actually want?
What parts of my life did I choose and what parts of my life did I inherit?
Or what rules am I still trying to follow that no longer apply or no longer serve me?
And what would I create if I stopped organizing my life around everyone else's expectations, around what other people want for me versus what I want for me? And the next question then becomes, now that I know who I am, what kind of life do I want to build?
Because you don't need to become someone brand new. You don't need to become who you were 20, 30 years ago. You don't need to fix yourself. But you are being invited to step into a deeper level of self trust and self authority.
It's like the first half of life.
It's often about becoming who you're told to be or becoming who you need to be in order to survive certain people, certain dynamics, which, especially as a kid, they are dynamics that you cannot get out of. And then as a maybe religious Christian, Jewish woman, you may also feel like you cannot escape either within marriage because divorce is not an option. We spend so much of the first part of our life trying to become who they want you to be, and we end up becoming these chameleons.
But the next chapter is about deciding, who are you? What do you want to create on purpose?
So I think I'm going to save my story for the next episode and a little bit more of what this has looked like for me, that's going to go into the next episode. Because this is already on the slightly longer side. And I don't want to make this episode too long and overwhelming, but I want to give what's been happening and what's been going on behind the scenes. I want to really share that and explain some things, and I want to invite you into this next evolution and this next step.
One of the themes that I really see is courage. Especially with the South Node moving into leo, we have the opportunity to really step into courage. It's not so much that we are not afraid. It's about recognizing that there is fear. But we're going to bet on ourselves anyway. We're going to put ourselves in these positions where we say yes to what it is that we truly want. And giving yourself the courage and the permission to say no to the things that you don't want.
Part of this might be stepping out of denial.
It might be this awakening and awareness that you're ready to create and build something you previously didn't give yourself permission to build.
If this episode has you thinking or recognizing that, you know you're ready for something different, but you're not entirely sure what that looks like. This is the space that I have created for you with my new program called Phoenix Rising. This is a community and guided experience for women who are ready to stop living by the rules that no longer fit and reconnect with themselves so that they can intentionally create a life on purpose, the life that they truly crave.
And we're exploring what it really means to rebuild your life. Taking this rediscovering of who you are and reimagining what's possible and bringing that together and looking at all that you've experienced and what do you do with it now?
How to stop playing in the survival sandbox. How to start playing by your own rules, the rules that you actually want to follow that you want to live by, and really co creating that and making sure that the people that you have in your life also want to play by those same rules. Because you don't need somebody to tell you what to do. You need somebody to help you trust your own inner compass and then have the courage to follow it.
You already carry the wisdom that you've been searching for. It's time now to trust yourself about it.
This is a community.
This is less about a course or learning what to do or what to eat or how to live or what job to have or what spouse to stay married to or whether to get divorced. This is not about any one protocol. It's about helping you decide what do you want for your life and to give yourself permission when you find yourself in a situation where you're like, this is not what I want for myself anymore, or this is not what I want for my kids.
That you have the permission to choose differently, to move in a different direction and we get to explore what are you ready to create when you're no longer willing to live by somebody else's rules and expectations of you.
I'll be sharing more about this in coming episodes, but this is A monthly membership. And this is where you get to rediscover who you are, who you've been all along, and bring that back to the surface and to start to create the life that you really want from a place of true authenticity.
We are going to rise. We have all been through the fire and we are now going to rise and create something new and incredibly powerful. From that experience.
You have changed the situations, the dynamics, the trauma, what you have been through that has shaped and molded you. And you can choose to be a victim the rest of your life. You can choose to let life continue to happen to you, or you can choose to reimagine what's possible and you can pursue it with other women who are now working and actively wanting to raise you up with them. This is where a rising tide lifts all boats. We will all be at different parts of the journey. We will all be working on different pieces of our life puzzle. But that's what makes this so beautiful, is that we are all going to be encouraging one another and finding other incredibly strong, ambitious, driven, badass women to this with so that you can rediscover your own badassery. Right? Like, she's in there, that strong, independent, fierce woman. She is in there. And somewhere along the way, she may have been stuffed in a box and put to the side. She may have been quieted or tamped down, but we now get to bring her back to life and we are going to lift one another up. We are no longer going to surround ourselves with other women who just want to tear you down, who want to keep you in the box, who want to keep you playing in survival mode, keep you at this low vibrational status, and we are going to get out of that box and into a new box where we are lifting one another up. I want you to imagine, like, I don't know if anybody has ever done, like a Spartan race or a tough mudder or if you've ever watched one, but there is a group aspect, there's a community aspect, where it's not just me of above everybody else. It's you get to the top of this wall and you turn around and you help the next person get up that same wal.
That's what we're doing here. It is not I'm gonna kick you in the face and kick you down a rung because that's how a lot of women are playing. A lot of emotionally toxic, unavailable women that we may have called friends at one point who really aren't friends. We are no longer going to play in that sandbox of survival with them. We are going to get out of the sandbox so that they can stop throwing sand in our face. And we are going to go play with new people.
People who are gonna help motivate and encourage you and lift you up in a place where it's safe to be vulnerable, where you don't have to have it all together, but where when you bring your failures, we're gonna encourage you. We're gonna tell you to keep going. We're gonna tell you that it's all working, even when it doesn't feel like it. We're not gonna tell you to quit. We're not gonna tell you to give up. We're not gonna tell you this is your sign that you can't do it.
And part of it is gonna be around health and food and emotional eating and maybe hormones. Peptides looking at your metabolism and that body that is going to carry you into this next version of your life. But it's not the sole focus. It is not the end all be all. Because what I have found for myself is that even though I've been selling and coaching on weight loss, it's always come with a caveat of it doesn't mean a damn thing if you have a life that you hate because a smaller body doesn't fix a broken self concept.
What I have found is that it has felt safe behind this title of a weight loss coach, but it also comes with pressure. And so I'm going to share a little bit more in the next episode about that and what that looks like. But if you're curious about Phoenix Rising and you're curious about what it would look like to spend the next year and a half really leaning into what do I want out of my life and how do I really bring these two to three versions of myself to figure out who am I now and what do I want going forward and to have the conviction and the drive and the encouragement to go out there and create it, then Phoenix Rising is for you. So I'm going to drop a link in the description. The platform is being housed on Skool S K O O L.
That is where we're doing this because I really love their community platform. I feel like this helps to create the community aspect without the distraction of Facebook and notifications and things that can just kind of clog up our energy.
The next best step is to visit that page. So go to that link and you can read more about it. And you can also watch a video that I created where I talk more. And I just share a little snippet of what this is, why I created it, what we're here to do. Because this is so much more than just weight and our body image. And yes, those play a role and yes, those are part of it. And that will be a core theme of the coaching and the teaching and what we're doing in there. But it is not the end all, be all. The end is create the life that you crave, reimagine what's possible for you.
And when we stop playing by everyone else's rules and expectations, it becomes so much easier to do that.
I will see you in the next episode where I'm going to share a little bit more. I've already kind of gone there in this one, but I'm going to share a little more of the behind the scenes over the last couple of weeks in particular because there have been some really powerful things that I have recognized and it feels a little scary, a little vulnerable. I'm not going to lie, feels a little vulnerable to be sharing all of this. But I'm going to be real, honest and transparent and like I'm just putting it all on the table because I find it's helpful when people see the process.
And I hope that this also gives you permission to take a step and to keep moving forward. Because clarity comes from taking action.
And even when we start moving in one direction and then we realize this isn't quite it, we pivot. And that's what Phoenix Rising is all about.
Here's to creating the life and body you crave.
[00:29:14] Speaker A: If this episode resonated with you, it's time to break free from destructive cycles around food, alcohol and toxic relationships. Your next step Book your free Break the Cycle call where you'll finally see why your binge eating and relationship patterns are so deeply connected and how to break free from both for good.
You'll walk away with fierce clarity and a game plan to step into a life full of fun, adventure and self love. Grab your spot now at www.bodyyoucrave.com VTC.
It's time to break the cycle.
[00:29:50] Speaker B: I'll show you how.
