Episode Transcript
[00:00:02] Speaker A: Ready to lose 40 plus pounds without giving up happy hours, weekend brunches, or date nights. Then it's time to uncover the hidden link between binge eating and toxic relationships. And finally break free from both. Welcome to the Hungry for Love podcast with Jillian Scott. Y' all ready? Let's go.
[00:00:24] Speaker B: Hello and welcome to the podcast.
[00:00:27] Speaker A: I wanted to create this episode because.
[00:00:29] Speaker B: I know I've got a lot of new listeners coming in and wanted to share a little bit more of how you can learn more about me and just a nutshell version of my story, what I do, why I do it. And so if you go back into the archives, if you scroll back, episodes 115 and 116 are about my binge eating story, the before and the after, because I am binge free over five years now, and it's been so long, like, I couldn't even remember the last binge.
And it has blown my mind. Like it was such a regular occurrence for me. And then to have it be so normal that I didn't binge, I never had the desire. I was talking with another business owner. He was launching a restaurant a couple weeks ago, and he looks very fit, very active. And he mentioned something about, but you gotta binge like once a month. And I'm like, no, nope, I don't binge at all.
I guess if you want to, you can.
But no, you don't have to binge at all. There's freedom there from that. And so 115 and 116 really dive into that aspect more specifically of what did life look like prior, what it looks like, then after?
And that is. Oh, I want to say that was. Must have been towards the end of last year. I think this was like December time frame of 2024 ish, give or take.
And then you keep scrolling and you go way, way back to the very beginning. I think episodes 9 and 10 are around my emotional eating story or thereabouts. So I launched the podcast, like, June of 2021. So you're going back to the summer of 2021. And that's where I share more about my emotional eating story. And so what I realized is that I talk a lot about my experiences throughout various episodes and give you examples from my own life. This is very much my philosophy that's been crafted on my own experience as well as clients. And. And I also realized, like, oh, you have to go back pretty far in order to hear more of my story. And so I wanted to bring that up and share. Those are some other specific episodes that you can go back to and really get a better feel and a better understanding of what I do and why. And even last summer as I was relaunching the podcast, some of the episodes are around body image and body shame. And I really share like the in depth behind the scenes because most people, when they see me, when they meet me, especially if they see me teaching a group fitness class, they have no idea. Number one, they don't know that I do this work. Number two, they have no clue that I was a binge eater for 15 years.
And I would use classes like that, like Body Pump, to try to burn more calories, to try to exercise and lose weight, to try to over exercise and under eat.
I would do it to try to make up for what I ate the night before or what I maybe didn't do. And so there would be weeks when I would be taking a class almost every day, pretty close to every day. And right now I found for my body what feels best is around three days a week.
And sometimes I will sub for other people, but I try not to go above 4 because I notice that there is this diminishing margin of return, right? It's not only do I not see the benefits the more I exercise, but. But it actually starts to create pain. It does the opposite effect of what I want it to do. So I have been on this journey and exploring over the last seven months or so more of like, how else can I move my body in a way that feels really good? And so I've been doing yoga and I started tracking because I set a goal for how many classes I want to do. And the minimum baseline for me it was once a week. That was it. Can I just show up once a week? And that is my standard. And I have become fairly picky in my yoga instructors just because I like them to be very active, I like to move, I like them to be challenging, I like to flow. And so right now I have one main instructor that I really love and enjoy going to. And I will likely get certified next year and start teaching myself. That way I can add in a second day total side tangent and story. But it's all about for me now. It's like, how can I fuel my body, how can I love my body, how can I move it in ways that I enjoy, that feel good, that are still sometimes challenging because we do get the endorphins from working out. Exercise is not bad. But so many of us have diet trauma, we have exercise trauma, we have weight loss trauma from when we were Told we just needed to eat less and exercise more. Or maybe you were on a program where they gave you a certain number of points or calories. And I've heard anywhere from 600 to 800 calories, which even if you're not exercising, like, that's starvation. That is a starvation diet. Which is why it worked short term. Okay, it worked being in quotes. And the way that I want to reframe what works and what doesn't is a diet doesn't work if you can't keep the weight off forever without hating your life, period.
You may lose weight, but it didn't work if it doesn't create the life that you truly want and the life that you crave.
And so what happens though, is we're told to eat this really low amount of food, and there's extreme restriction in what and how much we can eat. And then on top of that, often we are encouraged to then exercise, to do hiit workouts, and to run or to walk or to burn a certain number of calories. So not only is the amount that you are eating small enough that it is literally starvation, but then you are asked to now burn more energy on top of that. It's completely backwards.
And this is often what leads to the emotional eating and the binge eating habit. And so I started thinking about this as I'm going to teach this morning, and I don't typically teach Saturday mornings, but I love it. I have so much fun. It's usually a very full class, lots of energy.
And so I really, I love when I have the opportunity to teach in the mornings.
But one of the things that I wanted to address and to talk about was this, of like, how to not use this class as punishment for what happened this week, for what you ate or did last night, for any of that. Or maybe some people are coming off of a vacation and they've just spent the week being like that, Screw it, whatever, I'll start over tomorrow. And really breaking this perfectionist thinking of all or nothing that plays into so many areas of life, but 100% weight loss. And it is one of those things that's so deeply ingrained, it can feel hard to break. And that's okay. That's something I work with every single client on is this perfectionist idea of I'm either all in, 100%, and it's typically pretty extreme, or I'm all out doing nothing. And we need to find this balance. We need to find this moderation. Because life happens in the gray. It happens in the middle and we don't know typically how to live in the middle. We live in the extremes of black or white, this or that, instead of yes and both. And what can we do that brings stuff together to make it enjoyable? And that, I think, is why we often struggle with weight loss, is because we think, I need this extreme restrictive diet in order to lose weight. I need this restrictive protocol, this very extreme thing that I'm doing in order to create the results that I want. And so we want to hurry up and get it over with fast. And so if you even think about, oh, of being at peace and calming, like, losing weight, quote slower, right? In our mind, we're like, that's going to suck. That sounds terrible.
I don't want that. Because in our mind, it's not just restricting food. It's. I have to restrict what I get to do. I have to restrict how I live my life. And when we feel restricted with our job, with our career, when we feel stifled in a relationship or a marriage or a. When we're struggling in different parts of life or we're not feeling content and fully lit up to add on another area of struggle and hardship and suffering that now I'm going to tell you, you have to do even longer. You're going to be like, nope, opt out.
That's a no, right? In our brains, we're like, no, I don't want to make the suckiness last longer. We are already dealing with so much suckiness. Let's not add to it. And so I don't want to help you just create the body that you crave. I want to help you create a life that is so lit up, where you feel unstoppable, where you feel so good and so amazing. And it doesn't mean that we never experience negative emotions, that we never have hard times. But I want you to do the productive hard. I want you to focus on the hard that gets you closer to your goals. Not the hard of restricting more, exercising more, and eating less often. The hard is allowing yourself to feel an emotion.
The hard is tuning into your body and pausing instead of just that automatic reach for food.
The hard is going to feel like saying no to drink number three, when you planned and decided to have two drinks, and now you're going to stop there when everybody else is drinking. Those are the hard moments that we need to embrace. Fuck the burpees. Fuck the diets. Like, it is not about that.
It's really changing how we think about it. And that's why the recent episode of letting it Be hard, because I want to put that in some context, right? If you've been following me and listening to the last nearly 150 episodes, that one might make sense. But if you're new, you might be like, oh, shit. Like, I don't want it to be hard.
No.
But we can choose our hard. And I think that's what I want to highlight here.
It's hard to be in a body that you hate. It's hard to be binging and to feel out of control and like you're powerless. It's hard to feel like you can't. Like something's wrong with you.
And it can also feel hard then to bet on yourself, to invest in yourself, to choose yourself, to go all in.
It can feel hard to feel different emotions, to allow yourself to really feel angry, to be upset, to have the bitterness, to feel resentment, and to not eat over it. But one hard is productive and one hard creates extra suffering.
And that's what I want to help you break free of. And that's what these next couple of episodes are going to be about as well, is around this concept of suffering and how so often we are suffering in silence. And it breaks my heart. It shows up in so many areas.
This next episode, it's going to be powerful. I decided to put this one in here as, like, a bonus. Just going to sneak this one in because there is so much freedom on the other side. But I was a binge eater for 14 years, and that's what I was doing. I was restricting, and I didn't realize that me trying to follow my diet rules was just leading to more binging. The more I restricted, it was like the more that I would binge. And there were moments in those 14 years. There were times, there were some months, there were some seasons where I wasn't binging as hard.
There were times when I was binging on different types of food where sometimes it was more just overeating at a meal versus maybe binging on snack food or junk food. Sometimes the binge was just on meal food, like, just dinner. I remember when I lived overseas in Bangladesh, I was running a business. My mom works for the foreign service, so she was over there. I went there after college and I remember, like, I would starve myself all day, go to the gym in the afternoon. We had Bible study, and I would eat this giant mixing bowl full of vegetables and chicken and it was way more food. Right? You think about the stomach is roughly the size of the palm of your hand. It's like your fist. Our Stomachs are not that big.
I ate this massive amount of food because I was overly hungry, because I was overly restricting. But then I would feel so full, right? Because I was often eating, even if I wasn't eating quickly. It was like my body raved, it needed nutrients. And then I would feel so full and bloated and lethargic the next morning, I wouldn't want to get up and work out. So then I would go back to, okay, maybe drink some coffee. And then now I'm starving myself again. The rest of the day, can't eat lunch, got to go work out. Like all the things.
There were times where that cycle was really hard to break.
And it's not just about the food.
It is the mental emotional game.
That's what we have to work on, that's what we need to address and that's what I do with you here in this podcast as a whole. Right? Like we are looking at things from so many different angles and really addressing a lot of the core root issues.
Because a smaller body does not fix a broken self concept.
That is part of our work is changing the way you see yourself. And when you've been through toxic or traumatic relationships, when you've been through abuse as a child, a teenager, maybe as a young adult or in through your marriage, our self concept, our self esteem, our self belief is often very low. It's completely fallen through the floor because not only do we have somebody else often demeaning, poking fun at us, tearing us down, saying things that, oh, yeah, he was just joking, but really not.
And when it's a parent, like when it's a guardian, when it's a caregiver, it can feel even worse. This is somebody who's supposed to love and protect you and care for you. When it's a spouse, when it's a boyfriend or girlfriend, it feels so hard to overcome that on top of all the times that you've lost weight just to regain it, and when you've tried and you've struggled and you haven't lost the weight and our shame just compounds, our self belief and self worth completely crumbles and that's what we have to rebuild. And we can't do it just by thinking we need a smaller body, we need to lose weight, or we need to change something about us. And there's nothing wrong with losing weight. I'm going to help you do that too. But we have to do that while improving your self concept. What happens is often it's as the scale goes down, at least short term Our belief and our self confidence goes up. But if what we do to get the scale to go down isn't sustainable, the scale will go back up and then it has that inverse effect on our self confidence. So our confidence lowers as our weight increases. What I want to teach you to do is to increase your confidence and self belief and self trust and love yourself now and all the way down the scale, but not because of your body. You are not loving yourself more just because you're losing weight.
Because what happens is then you love yourself less when you aren't losing it as fast, when you're maintaining, when the scale goes up, right? And we have to really detach our self worth and self esteem from our weight, from our shape.
And when you've been doing that for years, when you've been doing that for decades, that becomes a harder pattern to break. This is why we need the emotional and psychological aspects of coaching and trauma work to truly heal your relationship with food and body and yourself.
There is so much power here. There is so much freedom. So if you are new to these parts, welcome. I'm so excited to have you here.
There is a space for you. You belong. And you are not alone. That is one of the biggest things, is you are not alone.
We suffer in silence so often, in toxic relationships with childhood trauma, in dysfunctional relationships with food and our body.
And there is freedom. There is peace on the other side.
And you can do it, too.
All right, this is just a little brief. Hello, welcome. Let me give you a snippet as to what life looks like, where we are right now. This week I'm going to be talking about some heavier topics because that is part of it. I talk about shame and guilt and grief and depression and divorce. And there's a variety of things that come up. And I think so often what holds us back is, well, I don't, I don't want to share my struggles, right. Or I don't want to turn to a friend because I don't want to bring them down. I don't want to be Debbie Downer. I want everybody to stay positive. And as a coach, I can fall into that trap, too. And I know that there needs to be a space for that.
And my view, my belief is I'm going to go first, I'm going to share first. I'm going to be vulnerable first because if you want help with this, you're going to have to be vulnerable with me in return. You're going to have to share, you're going to have to open up. And I want you to know that there's so much love and compassion that there is no shame.
And I'm going to help you break through your own shame. Because typically that's what happens. Clients aren't afraid of telling me, or it's not that they don't want to tell me because they're afraid of what I'm going to say or do, how I'm going to respond.
But when they tell me, they make it real to them. They can't keep hiding their head in the sand. They can't keep staying in denial. It's like it brings it to life. It makes it real.
And that's when we can solve it. And that's where I can help you break out of the shame spirals that often can get us. In those moments, if you are listening and you're like, holy crap, like, I need some help. I want some help. I'm ready to work on this. This sounds awesome. I want to lose weight. I want to heal my emotional eating or binge eating habit. I want to heal from this toxic relationship. I don't want this to have the same hold over me. Then I would love to chat. So if you go back a couple episodes, you'll find one about the 3030 project that I'm doing right now. You can listen and hear more about it. But regardless, I don't care if you want to lose 10 pounds or 100 pounds, the process is still the same. And I'm going to teach you my heal framework that's going to help you create peace and love and freedom in every area of your life. I'm going to help you heal your relationship with yourself, your body, with food, so that it no longer has a hold over you. And we're going to heal that relationship that you were stuck in for years, maybe even a few decades, that relationship that you maybe just want to let go of. Maybe there's been a legal divorce. I want to help you emotionally divorce from the patterns that got you into it and kept you in it, because that is often not what we think about.
So that you aren't continuing to repeat those same patterns, you aren't continuing to attract those same people into your life. This is what we're going to do. If you are ready and you're like, hell yeah, I'm on board. Let's go.
The next best step is to schedule a free consultation.
You can go to bodyucrave.com forward/schedule and I'll put a link in the description as well.
But come get on a call with me and I'll teach you and I'll tell you how this applies to your life. Specifically what this looks like. What the roadmap is to truly create the life and body you crave.
All right y', all, I hope you have a fabulous day.
[00:19:16] Speaker A: If this episode resonated with you, it's time to break free from destructive cycles around food, alcohol and toxic relationships. Your next step?
Book your free Break the Cycle call where you'll finally see why your binge eating and relationship patterns are so deeply connected and how to break free from both for good.
You'll walk away with fierce clarity and a game plan to step into a life full of fun, adventure and self love. Grab your spot now at www.bodyyoucrave.com BTC.
It's time to break the cycle.
[00:19:53] Speaker B: I'll show you how.
